I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and it’s only 11:30am”. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got. “Show us your cunt, we need to check you are a virgin.” the Queen insisted.Jayne looked round, Lilla nodded slightly, so Jayne reluctantly sat down on a couch and with some difficulty she raised her long flowing skirt and under skirts so the Queen could check for a hymen.The Queen was first to look. Jayne shivered at the indignity of it. The cool air on her thighs and crotch was exciting, she started to feel uncomfortably damp.The Queen’s long nailed fingers gently separated Jayne’s moistened cunt lips, her hymen glistened, “She’s intact,” she said, “She’s also Lesbian.” The Queen paused, “Would you like me to push my fingers deep in your cunt?”“Yes,” Jayne said in a tiny whisper. “Please!”“You can come in now, she’s a virgin,” the King shouted and Prince Harold appeared from the side room.“Oh for fucks sake you must be kidding,” Harold said as he saw Jayne with her skirts up and his mother caressing her crotch. “Tell you what, you tell her her to fuck off and I’ll give her lady.
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